seventh cycling trip

If there is no chance for me to go cycling at all, I feel like my heart would break. My world turns red, even though I have no connection with this color at all. I arrange my life in different colors. Then often my soul dissolves into small pieces and flutters around me like feathery floss. A long time ago I saw a girl, dancing on top of the water, and I was staring at her open-mouthed, and I remember falling in love with her for a few moments. Even though I like men, I always have. During the day I felt seriously dizzy several times; luckily I was alone, so no one saw it. I was alone, very alone. I danced too, of course, but only because I was in a bad mood, and of course not above the water but meters under the surface. Sometimes I felt I had to jump to get some air, but fortunately resisted the temptation. I write fortunately because had I jumped, I would have fallen flat on my face.